cptc in retrospect

posted on : 11/10/2025

four years ago, around this time of year, i was headed to my first ever CPTC competiton. i was an alternate, so i didn't do much, but i got to take some time to read over the report and really get to see how it's written. it was an interesting time, and i have a lot of good memories from being in palo alto at that time.

that year, me and another member, hunter, who as also an alternate during the competition walked around the area in palo alto we were staying. it was a chilly day, and the air was fresh and crisp compared to the valley downwind of san bernardino. we got lunch together, and through now half-remebered conversations, we talked about both everything and nothing. i'd known them for three months at that point, but the time spent in palo alto brought me closer to the people who would be my mentors and friends for the next years.

the next year, 2023, we were in anaheim at coastline college for cptc again, getting to work on the competition once more. all things change, and some of our members left us. it felt different then, it felt like something was missing. i was a full fledged member at this point, and it was time for me to work on the hacking. that year, it was difficult. i was still a beginner at this, and i still didn't know what i was doing all the time. the report wasn't perfect, and our scores reflected that.

after the second one, one the way back, me and hunter were driving back to our college together. again, through half-remebered conversations we talked about things. he told me about being a masters student and talked to me about business memos and a final coming up. i don't know why that stuck out to me, but the other week, me and my boyfriend drove through the 91, the same route i took then, and i was hit by viseral memories.

2024, and we were back in palo alto. i want to shout out alex keller here for really working with us to get our team out there as the previous coach we had wasn't able to make it, and alex had given us extensions to find another coach. the cold of the area was welcoming to me as it was hot in san bernardino yet again. this time, things felt different. half the team was new to this. i was the team captain, and i had two seniors on our team. i wanted to win, and i felt the hunger. i felt as if i needed to practice more, to prepare more, but all the time and effort i spent was put into trying to stay above the waters. i was busy and angry that i couldn't devote myself to the competition wholly. nonetheless, we competeted and didn't place. it was interesting, and we found a series of findings and we tried our hardest to compete depsite onset bowel issues born of sports-star-sponsered pizza.

the seconds after the competion and between us going to the airport was a rainy trudge through the campus of stanford. it was gorgeous and wonderful and god even the bathrooms felt like giants. the chapel was golden and big and ornate and reminded me of everything i didn't yet have. we didn't place, and it stung. i know i wasn't stupid, i know i knew about things, i had a CVE. but the space between a cve and a pentest report is a vast one, and one doesn't gurantee the other. the two concepts are not conjunct. i felt guilty for another year passing and not bringing back a trophy to the school, the three meager glass'd ones sitting on the front desk nigh 14 years removed from us. i let people down and that did not feel good for me.

back to the present time.

back in stanford again, we were ready and exicted to compete this year. we had spent time before actually fleshing out the report, making it look good, making it click, and making sure that what we wrote was going to be great. we had the effort and the energy and the time put in, four new fresh faces that were all eager to compete. i was exhuasted by the beginning, having spent a whole weekend with my boyfriend before, but i knew that i could do this. we walked around palo alto in the beginning, got dumplings and ice cream and sat on a mall network and dicked around for a while. we got to the house, hung out, ate some food, and the morning came and we competed. the infra was different and the same, it was appsec and way out of my range of motion. i was out of my depth and so was everyone, but we still got our findings and did our thing. the night flooded the room and we began working on the report. it was the best report i've ever written, the total sum knowledge of four years reflected from myself outwards. i'd started college knowing next to nothing, and now i was here. we didn't place the next day, but it felt different, like a sigh. we talked to the other teams, meeting them, becoming friends with them. it was nice. it was good. we didn't win, but i'd given my team a good and usable report format to take forwards.

cptc is a competition unlike ANY other. depsite not winning once, i'd do it again if i could. it's like a muscle, and i'm often going up against people who know more and do more and are more than me. it doesn't mean i'm not going to try or i'm going to give up. the past four years of competeting have been some of the biggest highlights in my college career, getting to be with my friends, getting to work on these things with them, and getting to feel like i've accomplished something inside myself, even if it goes completely unrecognized. life happens and it doesn't really stop. the cycle keeps moving, thank god, but this string of instances for me has come to an end.

in closing, i'd like to go over some people who i want to thank and i want to name as people who have helped me become the girl i am today, the person i am going to be tommorow. thank you to ethan for being my mentor back in senior year and getting me to wake up and realize i need to focus if i want to do good, thank you to hunter for working with me and sticking with cptc even though it was bullshit sometimes, thank you to issac briones and ivan callejas for being my mentors in my lower div years and being there to get my interested in things, thank you to christian magana for always being there to stoke my curisoity and keep me interested and in line, thank you to alberto yerena for never treating me like i was stupid, thank you to aldan rossnagel for being my boyfriend and keeping me sane, thank you to nate for being one of the few people back with me who knows what the lab was like before all these changes, and thank you to everyone i've ever competed with for being wonderful teammates who have made me proud, again and again. thank you forever.

thank you all for having an impact on me and my life. thank you to cptc for providing such a wonderful experience. ciso5ever :heart: